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A celebration for a life well-lived

October 15, 2023

The other day my 9-year-old son asked what exactly people celebrate during a “celebration of life.”

I thought it was a great question — something I hadn’t thought about, even though I’ve attended many such celebrations before.

I explained that it varies depending on the situation. If the person believed in an afterlife, we’re celebrating their passage to a better place. If the person had been ill or injured, we can celebrate their freedom from pain. And if the person had cultivated a life full of loved ones, we celebrate the impact that person made in their world and what they meant to everyone in it. Sometimes it’s an amalgam of all these things.

That’s what was on my mind Saturday when I attended a celebration of life for my friend Steve Vericker, a desert radio host and local personality.

When I moved to the Coachella Valley in 2005, I worked for the daily newspaper. My job was in the features department, writing lifestyle stories and my own weekly column. I worked hard to make a good impression; this had been a big move across the country, and Palm Springs both awed and intimidated me. I desperately wanted to carve out my own little place in it.

However, there was a popular morning radio show that eviscerated my column every week. Absolutely ripped it to shreds. And the more I pushed myself to be cool or impress readers, the more it altered my voice. Months after my arrival, I was mocked, miserable, and wracked with self-doubt.

An email from a stranger

That’s when I received a message from Steve Vericker (known on the radio as Steve Kelly).

“I want to get you on my show,” he said. “Let’s talk about some stories you’re working on and show people who you really are.”

Keep in mind, I didn’t know Steve. I hadn’t yet met Steve. But somehow Steve knew everything. He understood I needed a life preserver, and he made a point to be one for me. So I went on his show. I chatted about who I am and what I write, and it restored a lot of my confidence.

To this day, I’m still touched by his gesture. It was a generous use of his platform and a real gesture of kindness at a time when I didn’t see much of it elsewhere. Not only was Steve great at helping out fellow journalists and creating valuable networks, he was very good at being kind.

Many years later, our friendship well established, Steve popped into my inbox again. This time it was to say he was proud of me for getting quitting alcohol. He told me that he’d been dry for decades, and he credited sobriety with saving his life.

“I promise you, life only gets better,” he wrote.

So that’s what I celebrated on Saturday during Steve’s celebration of life — the gifts he so freely gave, the way he reached out whenever life was hard, and the promise that things always get better.

•••

Steve’s ashes will be spread by his family and close friends in Ireland. If any of you are ever in the Emerald Isle, I hope you’ll think about his generosity of spirit, and it’ll inspire you to pass along a small kindness.

Three Days in Paris: Mistakes Were Made, Pastries Were Eaten

October 5, 2023

I am not a Paris expert. I’ll say that right off that bat.

In fact, even though I’ve been to France before, I actively avoided Paris. It seemed too mainstream, too simple, too done. Everybody goes to Paris.

But on my way to Tanzania, I wanted a long layover to acquaint my body with different time zones (and possibly let my bags catch up with me, in the event of misplaced baggage). I also hoped to explore somewhere I’d never been, and when I mapped out all the flight options, Paris was the winner.

It turns out that people go to Paris because Paris is wonderful. There’s no other way to say it.

Everything looked like it had been plucked right out of my high school French textbook, which was cool because I genuinely enjoyed French class. (I don’t remember any French, mind you. But I enjoyed it.)

I was instantly charmed from the moment I opened my balcony window and gazed over the city. My love only grew from there.

Where to stay

I wanted to be within walking distance of Musée d’Orsay, my top priority of things to see. So I found Hôtel de l’Université, a sweet little place in Saint Germain des Prés. It’s on the left bank and nestled in a quiet section of the city but still close to good restaurants, shops, and many tourist sites. It was also well within my budget.

Next time I would probably stay somewhere in Le Marais, which is a bit livelier, has more of a foodie scene, and is historically known to be the LGBTQ+-friendly district.

Where to eat

The first mistake I made in Paris was something I do too often when I travel — I wait to eat until I become ravenous, then I find myself in a place with few options, and I snarf down something sub-par. And so it was at Musée Rodin, when I was about to eat my own hand. I ordered something from the on-site cafe, because sometimes museum cafes are terrific, but this one was very sad.

Now every time I see The Thinker, I will assume he’s pondering why the soup is cold and the pasta tastes like glue.

From that point on, I visited Paul each morning and kept a loaf of bread on me at all times. Kind of like a Boy Scout, but armed with a baguette instead of a pocket knife.

For really excellent Thai food, I loved Street Bangkok, which has locations all over the city. (Yes, I went all the way to Paris for Thai food, and it was delicious.)

I could’ve eaten the fresh dumplings every single day at Raviolis Nord Est.

While wandering, I was lucky enough to stumble across the oldest cafe in Paris, Le Procope, which serves traditional French fare.

Honestly, I don’t remember everything I consumed as I ate my way around the city. But there was one night where I walked through the Latin Quarter and ordered one small thing from nearly every place I encountered, from vegan fast food to tiny pastries, and it was one of the best nights of my life.

I also couldn’t resist these sweeties from Laouz.

What to do

With such a limited amount of time, I figured a tour would be the quickest and easiest way to see a lot of landmarks and orient myself.

• I booked a vintage motorcycle ride with Retro Tour Paris, which was so fun. My tour guide was kind and accommodating, customizing the tour to include everything I wanted to see. But the best thing about it was that so many people smiled and waved as we rode by. It felt like I was interacting with Paris rather than getting shepherded through it, which has been my experience with other kinds of tours.

• I also wanted to maximize my museum time, so I bought the Paris Museum Pass in advance and booked time slots whenever possible, so I could skip the lines and breeze right in.

While I risked getting museum-ed out, I’m impressed with the sheer amount of art and beauty I squeezed into my few days. Here’s a little taste. (Also I cried, because that’s what happens sometimes when I see magnificent things.)

• I’m a fragrance-phile, so I couldn’t leave Paris without visiting the Musée du Parfum and creating my own scent with Fragonard.

Tips

• I read way too many guidebooks in advance that warned against taking the Métro. So that was my next mistake. I spent my first two days clomping 15 miles/day all over Paris in my hiking boots, and I ended up injuring my right ankle to a point where I didn’t know if I could climb Kilimanjaro — the whole reason I was heading to Tanzania. When I finally gave in and took the Métro, it was so fast and easy, I felt foolish for not using it earlier.

That said, pickpocketing is a real problem in any city on any public transportation system, so be very aware of your belongings.

• I do advise getting the Paris Museum Pass. It was a great deal, and the sites are varied enough that you won’t get bored. It also saved time, since I avoided the massive lines.

• Finally, don’t be like me. My biggest mistake of all was that I didn’t give myself enough time in Paris.

The pink places of your Barbiecore dreams in Palm Springs (and beyond!)

July 12, 2023

Barbiecore is having a moment, with bubblegum hues showing up everywhere from red carpet fashion to home interiors. But even before the Barbie movie was a twinkle in Margot Robbie’s eye, some of the best spots to stay, eat, and play were already flush with flamingo — and there’s no better time than now to see them.

So put the top down on your Barbie Corvette, don your rose-colored glasses, and hit the open road for the most bubblegum pink places in Southern California. First stop, Palm Springs!

Tickled Pink in Greater Palm Springs

The Trixie Motel • Forget Disneyland, this pink dream owned by drag icon Trixie Mattel is the happiest place on earth.

Les Cactus • A boutique hotel that looks like the stylish cousin of the Barbie Dreamhouse.

La Boisson • This ultra-cool Palm Springs speakeasy at Fleur Noire Hotel is tucked behind pink doors and serves mostly rosé champagne.

The Pink Cabana • This elegant restaurant and bar in Indian Wells is perfect for a sophisticated brunch or chic girls’ night out.

That Pink Door • The sleek millennial pink entryway at 1100 East Sierra Way is probably the most photographed door in Palm Springs. (Stick to the sidewalk and be respectful of the owners, of course.)

In the Pink Beyond PS

La Valencia Hotel • This posh hotel is probably better known as “the pink lady of La Jolla.”

Pink Rose Cafe • You’ll be pretty in pink at this La Mesa cafe where the pink lattes are accessorized with pink rose petals.

Madonna Inn • An over-the-top institution in San Luis Obispo, this hotel is known for its themed rooms and for being very, very pink.

Hello Kitty Grand Cafe — Cool cats will love this super cute cafe in Irvine that serves up cookies, cakes, and Hello Kitty merch.

Beverly Hills Hotel • The famed pink palace in Beverly Hills that inspired my friend’s book, The Pink Hotel.

10 reasons why Belize needs to be high on your travel list

April 26, 2022
A woman and a boy standing in front of the Lamanai ruins in Belize. There is a gorgeous stone temple with a large carved face.
  1. If you hate crowded places, you’re in for a treat. Belize is the least densely populated nation in Central America. For comparison, I live in the Coachella Valley, which has 463,000 residents. The entire country of Belize has roughly 412,000. (To give you an even better idea of what that means, my community has a density of 518 people per square mile. Belize has 45.)
  2. Do you ever get flustered by currency conversions while traveling? No worries here. The money is a simple conversion of 2 Belize dollars to 1 USD. And most places will accept either.
  3. English is the official language of Belize. So if navigating other languages intimidates you, you won’t have any problems. (Also many of the people I met were multilingual! I especially loved listening to the creole patois spoken along the Eastern coast.)
  4. There are hundreds, possibly thousands, of Mayan ruins throughout the country, and new ones are discovered all the time. These sacred sites are magnificent, and I was surprised that I could get up close and personal with them.
  5. Before this trip, I associated Belize with scuba diving. Since I don’t dive, I worried there wouldn’t be any activities for me. Wow, was I wrong. Belize is an active country full of eco-adventures. My trip included caving, hiking, kayaking, snorkeling, cycling, tubing, swimming in waterfalls — plus just relaxing on the beach.
  6. The wildlife is incredible. The country is home to the world’s second largest coral reef, plus jaguars, monkeys, tapirs, and iguanas. I particularly enjoyed the Belize Zoo, which is actually a sanctuary for native animals; some wounded, some donated, many rescued from the illegal pet trade.
  7. Belize doesn’t feel overrun by tourists. With about 500,000 arrivals per year, Belize receives a low number of overnight visitors. To compare that with its neighbors, Mexico receives over 97 million tourists per year, while Guatemala gets more than 2.5 million.
  8. Did I mention the most delicious chocolate you’ll find anywhere?
  9. Belize is small, and its communities are strong. Early on in my trip, I visited a farm in the southern part of the country. Days later, many miles away on the island of Caye Caulker, I met someone who knew those farmers.
  10. It won’t be like this forever. I cringed when I saw a huge billboard advertising a new Margaritaville resort on one of the islands. Not to bag on Margaritaville (okay, maybe a little), but I appreciated that Belize was free from most chain businesses and big corporations. The places I patronized were local, owned and operated by people within each village, which made everything feel intimate and special — uniquely Belizean.
Sign at the water taxi building on Caye Caulker

52 Hikes, Part 4: Family-friendly hiking in Southern California

May 4, 2021

In January I set a goal of hiking 52 different trails with my family in 2021, and we’re totally crushing it. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here

That brings us to April and hikes 27-31. The temperature has been rising in our desert, and I’m scared of rattlesnakes, so we ventured beyond Palm Springs for this month’s trails.

Keep in mind: 
• I say these hikes are “family-friendly,” meaning they were good for my family. They are not necessarily stroller accessible or toddler-friendly. 
• I’m strategic about when I go. Some popular trails get heavy traffic throughout the day, and I don’t like being on trails with a lot of people, so I usually head out very early. 
• Don’t take my distance as gospel. Hiking with a 6-year-old child involves a fair amount of wandering, so your mileage might vary. 
• Do check a website like AllTrails for current trail conditions. I always look the map to get an idea of the terrain, and I read the most recent comments for any relevant info. 
• I know covid restrictions are loosening, but I still bring a mask along and put it on when I encounter others on the trail.

Potato Chip Rock, Poway • 4.2 miles

Potato Chip Rock has been on my personal California bucket list for a while now, and we finally did it!

There are two trails to reach the summit. The Mt. Woodson Trail is 7.3 miles, boasts a more gradual climb, and is supposedly more picturesque. We opted for the steeper, shorter route to get up and down before the heat of the day. And it was still a gorgeous hike!

There was definitely a point where the path felt almost too steep for me to go on. And that’s when I noticed another hiker holding a pudgy Basset Hound — and I figured if someone else can make it up a mountain while CARRYING A DOG, I can do it sans hound.

Red Dome, Whitewater • 4.5 miles

Wildflowers and striking views along a gentle segment of the Pacific Crest Trail? Yes, please.

Also this hike ends at the rocky banks of the Whitewater River, surrounded by textured canyon walls. The water is always frigid, and I soaked my feet until they were numb.

49 Palms Oasis, Joshua Tree National Park • 3.2 miles

I can’t believe I’ve lived in the desert for so long, and this was my first time doing the 49 Palms trail, located in a section of the park I’ve never seen before.

This was a quick, moderate trail (a few Marines in weighted vests were running it), and the payoff is a lush palm oasis where it feels like you’re the only person on earth

.

Canyon View Loop, Whitewater • 4 miles

Another hike I regret not having done before. It was a fairly quick ascent up the wildflower-carpeted canyon, followed by some incredible views of the valley below. This is a real showcase of desert beauty.

La Quinta Cove to Lake Cahuilla loop, La Quinta • 6.6 miles

Okay, I know I sound like a broken record, but this is another place I never visited before my hiking challenge. (I’m starting to wonder if I ever did anything before this year? Where did I go? It’s weird that I’m seeing more of where I live now, during a pandemic, than I ever did before.)

I’ve heard that Lake Cahuilla is usually crowded, but on the morning we hiked there, it was the perfect place to stop for a snack break. The trees provided a cool, shady spot to rest, and it was so quiet, we could hear birds’ wings flapping.

The hike back was a slog, because a large portion of it is through a soft, sandy wash with a gradual uphill, and hiking in sand sucks. But we felt very accomplished when it was over.