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Thailand

How to make a dream come true

May 11, 2020

First: Make a list of things to do before you die. Realize that you are always inching toward death and still haven’t done a single thing on that list. This is the same thing your mom did; she put things off until it was too late.

Decide to do something about it.

Quit your job. Leave home. Book some flights.

Tell yourself, “If I make it to Ha Long Bay, this trip will be a success.”

Go to Peru. Go to Bolivia. Go to Argentina. Check some things off the list.

Meet a couple of Americans and drive around South Africa with them. Live in a village. Learn to carry buckets of water on your head. Go to Uganda. Ride across the country in a minibus with 24 people and a pregnant goat. Find work as a country-western DJ for the local radio station. Learn to harvest rice.

Go to Rwanda. Spend your days teaching English to genocide survivors. Cry. Teach them to play bingo. Laugh.

Fly to Egypt and immerse yourself in ruins. Find out your grandmother died. Find out your mom is dying, really dying. Fall down a tunnel of darkness. Hole up in a yoga camp on the Red Sea.

Go to your mother’s funeral. Wrap yourself in grief. Return to Egypt on the day a revolution begins. Feel yourself unraveling.

Take a boat to Jordan. Leave when protests begin. Go to Bahrain. Leave when protests begin. Get the nagging feeling that you are creating a trail of destruction around the world.

Go to Ethiopia, an extraordinary country, and plod your way through it. Feel like you’re something less than human.

Go to India, where something in your soul clicks. Love it. Embrace it. Drink in every hot day, every fragrant spice, every bit of eye-popping color. Move into an ashram. Pray.

Go to Thailand. Work with elephants. Meet a friend from home in Bangkok. Travel with her to Cambodia. Stay with more friends. Say goodbye.

Take a bus to Vietnam. Battle Saigon’s scooter-clogged streets and get a feel for the city. Slurp down bowls of noodles. Take a bus north. When the bus breaks down for 12 hours, sleep at a bus station. When the bus works again, it’s the hottest part of the day and the air-conditioning is now broken. Sweat. Make an unplanned stop in a beach town just because you desperately need a shower.

Take more buses. Take a train. Sleep in a dirty train car on soiled sheets. Arrive in Hanoi. Ride on the back of a motorcycle with a man even sweatier than you.

Schedule a boat tour. Pack up. Get picked up at 7 a.m.

Go to Ha Long Bay.

Wake up on a boat in a bay where everything is still. Everything is perfect.

Write that story.

Go to grad school to really dig into it.

Write that story again and again, edit it, excavate it. Work on it in scraps of time between your day job, when you stay up late, when you rise at 4 a.m. to have 20 quiet minutes before the baby wakes.

Sell it.

Have the perfect editor push you where you need it. He makes you laugh, he makes you cry, but most importantly, he makes you better. He reminds you to slow down where it hurts.

And then one day, poof. You have a book.

Your story, between two covers.

It comes out tomorrow.

Enjoy.

PHOTOS: Bikes around the world

August 7, 2012

My sister has been obsessed with bicycles lately, to the point where she wants to redecorate part of her home with a cycling theme. It’s a really cool idea, especially since she’s so passionate about her own bike.

But I couldn’t stomach the thought of her paying a lot of $$$ for a framed bike photo from World Market or Target — especially when I took thousands of photos of everything around the world. I was positive I had something she could use. And I was right!

Here are just a few of the bikes I encountered on my travels.

 

Lone red bike in a neighborhood in Hoi An, Vietnam.

 

A line of rental bikes in Sukhothai, Thailand, because bikes are THE best way to explore the ancient city’s ruins.

 

It’s like Jem and the Holograms took over this street in Vientiane, Laos. Pink and purple power!

 

A mustard home on a side street in Hue, Vietnam.

 

Pretty bike on a New Orleans street.

 

I love this one the most, even if the bike isn’t the most photogenic, because we are two sisters.

 

This last one I wouldn’t put on any wall in my home. But I still marvel over this man in Mumbai with a seriously impressive stack of eggs. He is the eggman! He is the walrus! Or something.

What in the world?! Funny photos from around the globe

April 18, 2012

Here are some of my favorite funnies from around the world. Why? Because it’s tax day. And because today has been kind of a bummer anyway. And because you should stop asking questions.

Just enjoy these random bits that I collected on my round-the-world trip — like this command that was painted on a barn in Uganda.

It makes perfect sense.

 

Everything is slightly off in Bolivia, including this discount version of Uno.

 

Wise words from a Buddhist temple in Thailand.

 

The hottest curry at this shop in South Africa was the Mother-in-Law Exterminator.

 

An after-dinner condom jar in Thailand.

 

Uh, how many times does Taiwan have to tell you? DON’T sit on the bears!

 

Please to enjoy some cock at this Vietnamese shop.

 

Or sample the poo-poo platter here.

 

And drumroll please … my very favorite sign of all time. It’s pretty self-explanatory.

Street art in Asia

August 28, 2011

Sometimes I’m embarrassed I can’t see the world the way street artists do.

I don’t look at a metallic sliver of garage door and see a robot. I don’t know how a dark alleyway can transform into a dazzling display. I can’t find the rainbow of colors in concrete.

I don’t have that kind of vision — but thankfully, I can still get a peek.

Hot potato

June 5, 2011

There are five things you need to know about Potato Spicky.

1. Spicky is a potato tube. It springs forth from a potato head.

Mr. Potato’s final gift to the world.

 

2. Spicky is fun to eat while sitting at a computer, buying a dress and driving a car/piloting a biplane.

Whee! Spicky-tastic!

 

3. Spicky is non fried.

Fried? Non!

 

4. Spicky appears to be vegan.

I don’t see any pork here.

 

5. Spicky is my favorite Thai snack food.