Wishlist

December 12, 2011

Are you a wealthy, benevolent benefactor? Excellent! I happen to be a happy, willing recipient of goods.

Let me present you with my Christmas list.

1. The Paris Review sports pen. For active, on-the-go literati.

Because you never know where you’re gonna be when you need to write shit down. With a fountain pen.

 

2. Fancy, lace-up boots.

My theory is that completely illogical boots draw attention away from my enormous nose.

 

3. Purity ring.

Back when I was a teen, virginity wasn’t really a trend. So now I feel like I was cheated out of some awesome chastity jewelry.

 

4. Leica X1.

As far as cameras go, this is the equivalent of Ryan Gosling. And it too has incredible core muscles.

 

5. Donation to the Landmine Relief Fund.

At the risk of going all Sarah McLachlan and bumming you out with something super serious, this NGO does incredibly important work in Cambodia.

Basically, Cambodians live on land that is KILLING THEM. Literally. There are millions of explosives still buried throughout the country, on farms, in villages, all over fields and forests, and they are wildly efficient. So the Landmine Relief Fund sends in trained professionals, who risk their own lives to save their neighbors.

I mean, I’m not going to dig up a landmine, right? So I might as well support the people who do.

 

6. A rainbow machine.

Does this really need explanation? IT’S A RAINBOW MACHINE.

 

7. High Falls stunt class.

This course will be an essential part of my ninja training.

 

8. Morse code bracelet.

It’s not really a curse word if it’s spelled out in delicate, gold Morse code, is it?

 

9. Go Pro camera.

You wouldn’t believe how often I could use a helmet cam.

 

10. Coffee mug from The Rumpus.

Because I do.

 

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1 Comment

  • Reply Debbie December 12, 2011 at 9:00 PM

    Well, I’m ordering a rainbow machine, but, I’m sorry Maggie, I’ve just got to keep it for myself, it’s too cool.

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