Monthly Archives

October 2023

A celebration for a life well-lived

October 15, 2023

The other day my 9-year-old son asked what exactly people celebrate during a “celebration of life.”

I thought it was a great question — something I hadn’t thought about, even though I’ve attended many such celebrations before.

I explained that it varies depending on the situation. If the person believed in an afterlife, we’re celebrating their passage to a better place. If the person had been ill or injured, we can celebrate their freedom from pain. And if the person had cultivated a life full of loved ones, we celebrate the impact that person made in their world and what they meant to everyone in it. Sometimes it’s an amalgam of all these things.

That’s what was on my mind Saturday when I attended a celebration of life for my friend Steve Vericker, a desert radio host and local personality.

When I moved to the Coachella Valley in 2005, I worked for the daily newspaper. My job was in the features department, writing lifestyle stories and my own weekly column. I worked hard to make a good impression; this had been a big move across the country, and Palm Springs both awed and intimidated me. I desperately wanted to carve out my own little place in it.

However, there was a popular morning radio show that eviscerated my column every week. Absolutely ripped it to shreds. And the more I pushed myself to be cool or impress readers, the more it altered my voice. Months after my arrival, I was mocked, miserable, and wracked with self-doubt.

An email from a stranger

That’s when I received a message from Steve Vericker (known on the radio as Steve Kelly).

“I want to get you on my show,” he said. “Let’s talk about some stories you’re working on and show people who you really are.”

Keep in mind, I didn’t know Steve. I hadn’t yet met Steve. But somehow Steve knew everything. He understood I needed a life preserver, and he made a point to be one for me. So I went on his show. I chatted about who I am and what I write, and it restored a lot of my confidence.

To this day, I’m still touched by his gesture. It was a generous use of his platform and a real gesture of kindness at a time when I didn’t see much of it elsewhere. Not only was Steve great at helping out fellow journalists and creating valuable networks, he was very good at being kind.

Many years later, our friendship well established, Steve popped into my inbox again. This time it was to say he was proud of me for getting quitting alcohol. He told me that he’d been dry for decades, and he credited sobriety with saving his life.

“I promise you, life only gets better,” he wrote.

So that’s what I celebrated on Saturday during Steve’s celebration of life — the gifts he so freely gave, the way he reached out whenever life was hard, and the promise that things always get better.

•••

Steve’s ashes will be spread by his family and close friends in Ireland. If any of you are ever in the Emerald Isle, I hope you’ll think about his generosity of spirit, and it’ll inspire you to pass along a small kindness.

Three Days in Paris: Mistakes Were Made, Pastries Were Eaten

October 5, 2023

I am not a Paris expert. I’ll say that right off that bat.

In fact, even though I’ve been to France before, I actively avoided Paris. It seemed too mainstream, too simple, too done. Everybody goes to Paris.

But on my way to Tanzania, I wanted a long layover to acquaint my body with different time zones (and possibly let my bags catch up with me, in the event of misplaced baggage). I also hoped to explore somewhere I’d never been, and when I mapped out all the flight options, Paris was the winner.

It turns out that people go to Paris because Paris is wonderful. There’s no other way to say it.

Everything looked like it had been plucked right out of my high school French textbook, which was cool because I genuinely enjoyed French class. (I don’t remember any French, mind you. But I enjoyed it.)

I was instantly charmed from the moment I opened my balcony window and gazed over the city. My love only grew from there.

Where to stay

I wanted to be within walking distance of Musée d’Orsay, my top priority of things to see. So I found Hôtel de l’Université, a sweet little place in Saint Germain des Prés. It’s on the left bank and nestled in a quiet section of the city but still close to good restaurants, shops, and many tourist sites. It was also well within my budget.

Next time I would probably stay somewhere in Le Marais, which is a bit livelier, has more of a foodie scene, and is historically known to be the LGBTQ+-friendly district.

Where to eat

The first mistake I made in Paris was something I do too often when I travel — I wait to eat until I become ravenous, then I find myself in a place with few options, and I snarf down something sub-par. And so it was at Musée Rodin, when I was about to eat my own hand. I ordered something from the on-site cafe, because sometimes museum cafes are terrific, but this one was very sad.

Now every time I see The Thinker, I will assume he’s pondering why the soup is cold and the pasta tastes like glue.

From that point on, I visited Paul each morning and kept a loaf of bread on me at all times. Kind of like a Boy Scout, but armed with a baguette instead of a pocket knife.

For really excellent Thai food, I loved Street Bangkok, which has locations all over the city. (Yes, I went all the way to Paris for Thai food, and it was delicious.)

I could’ve eaten the fresh dumplings every single day at Raviolis Nord Est.

While wandering, I was lucky enough to stumble across the oldest cafe in Paris, Le Procope, which serves traditional French fare.

Honestly, I don’t remember everything I consumed as I ate my way around the city. But there was one night where I walked through the Latin Quarter and ordered one small thing from nearly every place I encountered, from vegan fast food to tiny pastries, and it was one of the best nights of my life.

I also couldn’t resist these sweeties from Laouz.

What to do

With such a limited amount of time, I figured a tour would be the quickest and easiest way to see a lot of landmarks and orient myself.

• I booked a vintage motorcycle ride with Retro Tour Paris, which was so fun. My tour guide was kind and accommodating, customizing the tour to include everything I wanted to see. But the best thing about it was that so many people smiled and waved as we rode by. It felt like I was interacting with Paris rather than getting shepherded through it, which has been my experience with other kinds of tours.

• I also wanted to maximize my museum time, so I bought the Paris Museum Pass in advance and booked time slots whenever possible, so I could skip the lines and breeze right in.

While I risked getting museum-ed out, I’m impressed with the sheer amount of art and beauty I squeezed into my few days. Here’s a little taste. (Also I cried, because that’s what happens sometimes when I see magnificent things.)

• I’m a fragrance-phile, so I couldn’t leave Paris without visiting the Musée du Parfum and creating my own scent with Fragonard.

Tips

• I read way too many guidebooks in advance that warned against taking the Métro. So that was my next mistake. I spent my first two days clomping 15 miles/day all over Paris in my hiking boots, and I ended up injuring my right ankle to a point where I didn’t know if I could climb Kilimanjaro — the whole reason I was heading to Tanzania. When I finally gave in and took the Métro, it was so fast and easy, I felt foolish for not using it earlier.

That said, pickpocketing is a real problem in any city on any public transportation system, so be very aware of your belongings.

• I do advise getting the Paris Museum Pass. It was a great deal, and the sites are varied enough that you won’t get bored. It also saved time, since I avoided the massive lines.

• Finally, don’t be like me. My biggest mistake of all was that I didn’t give myself enough time in Paris.