First World Problems: Palm Springs Yelp Reviews

June 11, 2012

My father visited Palm Springs earlier this year, just as arguments about the paint job on the Saguaro hotel were really heating up. There were a bunch of meetings and angry people and letters to the editor … the whole bit.

My dad’s take? “If you’re that upset about paint on a hotel, you need more problems.”

(Here is the super offensive paint in question.)

 

So the other day I was scrolling through some Palm Springs restaurant reviews on Yelp, and I realized that some of you need more problems.

Yeah, I know it sucks to spend money on a meal that is less than satisfying. But to say that too much pepper on your filet mignon was a tragedy? Oh my god. You’re right. How could you possibly go on living after such trauma?

Check out some of the other ridiculous Yelps I stumbled upon:

 

it was the only place in town I wouldn’t feel outlandish wearing a floor length ball gown. As for the food … I should have known better than to order heirloom tomato salad in February.

 

***

 

I would like the “era” of the deceptive lobster pot pie (or pot pies that are not) to end.  Serving a cup of “stew” with a bread stick is not as advertised.

 

***

 

we were offered a prix fixe choice of (yaaawn…) turkey, salmon or beef short ribs.  We started with an “appetizer: ”  a tiny, bland boiled potato that was advertised as having “lemon crème fraiche and caviar,” however, I think they forgot the crème fraiche on mine and the “caviar” turned out to be black tobiko.  (Perhaps the similar amuse at Manressa was too fresh in my memory – simple yet bursting with flavor.)

 

***

 

we ordered a pinot noir from the Russian River Valley.  But the waiter brought out the same brand of pinot noir but with California as the appellation.

 

***

 

they were subbing green mussels for the original black ones. I should have known and steered clear because green mussels are nothing like black, they are usually tough and way too gamey. But I chose it anyway and regretted it.

 

***

 

Minus 1 star for not providing us the fancy little flashlights to read our menu.

 

***

 

I ordered the Bisque de Homard ($14).  This dish was utterly inexcusable.  I had to let it sit for quite some time as it was absolutely scalding hot when it was poured from a cast iron vessel into my soup bowl at the table.

 

***

 

The appearance of the apples in the risotto was less than appealing.

 

***

 

They claim the Filet is 8 ounces. Bring a scale. I’m contesting the claim.

 

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply